A few days ago I wrote a blog post about “The Role of a Woman” which received a great deal of feedback from both my readers and family members so I wanted to expand on the topic a bit more.
My hubby is a man of few words so I take advantage of his driving time whenever I can and while he can’t find a way to escape my questions that are too deep for his liking. This past weekend we drove 7 hours to meet my daughter and her family in Orlando for a couple days so we had a lot of alone time in the car so it was my perfect opportunity! I wanted to talk to him about my blog post and get a man’s point of view about the role of a woman.
We have been married for almost 13 years so I thought I really knew how he would answer many of my questions but I was really surprised at a few of his answers.
After a lengthy conversation we both agreed that in today’s world the role of a woman has become clouded. With many families needing the income of two working people it’s hard to determine who is the hunter (man) and who is the gather (woman) anymore.
Because of the economic pressure we have today a man’s role of head of the household is getting lost. Can we still abide by the biblical values of the man being a man and a woman being a woman in the roles as God intended? I think we can!
I have to admit that after working full time for so many years and being a business owner for 10 of those years it took me a while to find my place in our family again. We struggled early on with whose role was whose and how did it all fit together as I was running a business and my hubby was working for me. After we sold that business I began my trek to finding my place again, very happily giving the pants back to my hubby.
One of my main concerns while writing the roles of a woman was how can a woman respect her husband and follow his lead without being submissive. My hubby answered this question and gave me a lot to think about along the way.
First of all he thought that most men would not want a yes sir woman in their life. They would want someone who gave them their input, took into account their feelings and suggestions and one that respected him enough not to go against his wishes if he felt strongly about something.
We felt there is a fine line between the respect a woman should have for her husband and being submissive to him. In my opinion…I feel a strong woman has ideas and input of her own and a good union between man and woman are those that can feed off of each other’s suggestions to find good solutions to whatever may arise. A good woman will follow her husbands’ lead and a good man will take into account his wives views and consider them while making any decision. I know I have learned how and when it’s the right time to ask him for something. While laughing my hubby said that is a woman’s way of manipulating a man but I look at it as whatever it takes to make him think it was his idea things will always go my way.
I was really surprised at his answer and even though we have been married this long I never sat down and asked him point blank those questions. I knew the simple things he expected of me, things like cooking, cleaning and taking care of him but what I didn’t know was that he expected me to stay in my God given gender role!
Gender role…where did that come from, I had never heard him say those words before and after a long conversation with him I figured out it was very important to him. So what did he mean? What was my gender role? I am a woman how much more “in my gender roll” could that be?
He gave me a list:
- a woman clothes should be skirts and dresses not pants and shorts
- a woman should allow a man to be a gentleman…for example a woman should wait to have a door opened for her instead of opening it herself
- lifting and moving things should be left to a man
- tilling the garden is a man’s job (this was directed for me since I have argued with him in the past that I am more than capable of doing this job and I could never understand why he would never let me do it)
- not that he expects it but he enjoys the house being clean and organized, dinner ready when he gets home and clean clothes in his drawers…and an occasional sweet treat waiting on the counter for him
- all in all he expects me to be a woman…soft, feminine, sweet and caring
I would encourage you to ask your husband these questions you might just discover something you didn’t know about his expectations. I would love to hear how your husband answered these questions.
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